The Colorado Index

Buy Jon Caldara's Socks...err Sockpuppets

Remember this:

Now you can be a puppeteer.  The puppets are being sold on ebay.  Condition:  Used.

Scoop: Mark Udall Has Changed Ad Agencies

The Rocky Mountain News criticized Mark Udall today for pandering in his latest political ad:

[ Mark ] Udall believes the economy is totally rigged against average Americans? And he says he's going to solve it with tax cuts and new energy technologies? Next thing you know, some politician is going to announce that clean energy is the long-awaited cure for the common cold, such are the miraculous powers routinely ascribed to it these days.

If this economy were totally rigged against the middle class there wouldn't be a middle class for politicians to pander to with ads like [ Mark ] Udall's. But in fact there is a huge swath of middle-income Americans. And while they are understandably worried about the future, they remain as well or better off by most relevant standards than their counterparts almost anywhere else in the world.

We understand that Mark Udall has acted quickly to change ad agencies.  We were lucky enough to get a backdoor copy of the demo ad his new agency provided:

I guess that for the next two weeks we will hear that Bob Schaffer pees in the pool.

And If The Electorial College Results In a Tie...

Someone keeps sending me this stuff...

Now this is just North Dakota funny. The Presidential election was too close to call. Neither the Republican candidate nor the Democratic candidate had enough votes to win. There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the sportsmanlike way to settle things. The candidate that caught the most fish at the end of the week would win the election. Therefore, it was decided that there should be an ice fishing contest between the two candidates to determine the winner.  After much back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest take place on a remote frozen lake in northern North Dakota . There were to be no observers present, and  both men were to be sent out separately on this isolated lake and return at 5 P.M. with their catch for  counting and verification by a team of neutral parties. At the end of the first day, John McCain returned to the starting line and he had ten fish. Soon, Obama returned and had no fish. Well, everyone assumed he was just having another 'bad hair' day or something and hopefully, he would catch up the next day. At the end of the 2nd day John McCain came in with 20 fish and Obama came in again with none. That evening, Harry Reid got together secretly with Obama and said, 'Obama, I think John McCain is a low-life, cheatin' son-of-a-b----. I want you to go out tomorrow and don't even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see just how he is cheating.' The next night (after McCain returns with 50 fish), said to Obama, 'Well, tell me, how is John McCain cheating?' Obama replied, 'Harry, you're not going to believe this, but he's cutting holes in the ice.' Experience  Counts

Lobbyists Against 49

Ethical Standards Now (49 on the November ballot) seems like a good governance issue.  Simply put, the government should not have to use its accountants to calculate and write checks to special interest groups.  With the prevalence of online bill-pay systems and automatic checking account deductions, this measure will provide little inconvenience to government employees while saving nontrivial amounts of labor and taxpayer money. Now, a group of lobbyists created a website opposing 49 because the initiative could lessen their influence on government policy.

We’re opposing ... 49 here in Colorado. Currently, many of our clients have members who work for  state and local governments throughout Colorado. The state government does us a BIG favor—they collect our dues money for us—straight out of our members’ paychecks. The government then bundles that money for us and writes us a check. It saves us gobs of cash and hassle to just have the taxpayers handle all of that expensive accounting.

As special interest lobbyists, it’s our job to convince government officials and politicians that our clients deserve better tax breaks and bigger salaries. We do this using a number of tactics, but let’s be honest for one moment (and you wouldn’t believe how difficult that is for us), most of them involve money…money in the form of campaign contributions.

Perhaps this site is a parody; perhaps not.  However, when the Denver Post, the Rocky Mountain News, and other major newspapers are in favor of this measure (not to mention sock puppets), it is obvious that 49 is simply a clean government issue that deserves widespread support.

NOTE: Please visit The Colorado Index Updated Voters Guide for more information on this and other amendments appearing on the November ballot.

by Civil Sense

Bank Robber Bob Nabbed. Udall Takes Both Sides...Again

The Rocky Mountain news has details.  The Denver Post is so reporting:

On Sept. 19, the employees of Provenant Federal Credit Union, 4001 W. 16th Ave., attacked "Bob" after he made the mistake of vaulting over a teller counter to open a cash drawer.

They knocked off his black cowboy hat and black wig, and left him bereft of his disguise, exposing him to surveillance cameras. His image was plastered across Colorado TV screens and newspapers.

As a result, federal authorities said in papers filed in U.S. District Court, someone came forward and identified Lehman, 41, as the culprit in 14 robberies in the Denver area, including heists at the Provenant Federal Credit Union on June 13 and July 10, as well as the robbery attempt on Sept. 19.

The left wing mind is so predictable.  These employees didn't have guns, but one of them had an "expandable baton."  Expect the lefties like Bill Ritter and John Hickenlooper to decry the possession of this weapon in a bank and demand that all expandable batons be registered and confiscated.  Expandable batons, they will correctly opine, have no use in a modern militia.

Mark Udall and Bill Ritter will propose statewide "expandable baton" ranges just before their next election, but never be able to find enough money to actually establish them.

Mark Udall will have his wet finger to the wind and come down hard...on both sides, decrying baton control but opining that if the locals like Bill Ritter and John Hickenlooper want it, they should be able to have it.

A Shotgun at Twenty Paces: Ballot Humor

One of the more humorous aspects of blogging can be the comments.  Not long ago, I wrote a well received post on the 2008 Colorado Ballot.

Well, it was well received in most quarters.  One liberal sent me some hate mail:

Thanks for your voter guide. I plan to vote the exact opposite from your suggestions. People like you need to prepare to move firmly into the minority category. Your policies have messed things up about as much as possible. It will be 15 to 20 years at least before you will have even a remote chance at political power again. No more playing on peoples fears. Even your churches are moving away from you. All you have left is your little echo chambers. You all keep saying the same things and think it influences anyone other than someone who looks just like you. I am a middle aged white male and your actions will no longer dishonor me. I only wish dueling was still possible, I would take as many of you with me as possible.

My response:

Chris

I have never been challenged to a duel before.

Since you are doubtless anti-gun, I accept your challenge. You bring your knife, I'll bring my shotgun. Twenty paces...

Ever Wonder What Happened to Mark Udall's Car?

Until earlier in this campaign, one of Mark Udall's well kept secrets about his life in the 1970's was that he had his vehicle confiscated after a traffic stop in Arizona.  There is some suspicion in this corner that he wasn't just using drugs, he was carrying enough to be suspected of selling them.  Why else would a Congressman's son be given a year of probation?

We have always wondered what became of Mark Udall's car.  Now, we know:

I Get Great Junk Mail

The photo below captures a disturbing trend that is beginning to affect wildlife in the US . Animals that were formerly self-sufficient are now showing signs of belonging to the Democratic Party...as they have apparently learned to just sit and wait for the government to step in and provide for their care and sustenance.

Will DNC Provide Any Economic Boost To Denver

One positive effect of the Democratic National Convention is that it brought one of my favorite authors, James Lileks, to town. James Lileks blogs the convention for the Minneapolis Star-Tribune and has an interesting take on the economics of conventions.

We’re also told that the conventions are a tremendous economic boon. For hotels and restaurants and bars and taxi drivers who don’t think you know they’re taking the long way, sure. But a tour of downtown Denver off the 16^th street mall reveals a downtown unaffected by the event. I’m sitting in a food court at the moment; it’s noon, and the place is mostly empty. Why? It’s three stories above the mall, and tourists can’t be bothered to take an escalator up when there are so many ground-level options.  

The manager at the suburban restaurant where I dined last night said the impact of the [ Democratic National ] convention was, and I quote, “Zero.” Freeway traffic seems smooth – the hellishly fast run downtown this morning went as quickly as possible, except for the moment when the driver nearly put us all through the windshield when he hit the brakes to avoid a blue barrel in the middle of the road.  Downtown traffic is remarkably smooth, considering that they’ve routed everyone away from the Pepsidrome, and you couldn’t get through the barricades with anything less than an M-1 Abrams.

This is my experience as well.  I've maneuvered in and out of downtown Denver quite easily.  Likely, the smaller-than-anticipated protester turnout helps matters to some degree. However, Thursday I-25 closure will likely still cause gridlock in the city.  All in all, it appears that many (non-retail) businesses closed down for the Democratic National Convention.

As for the promised economic boon to the city, a group of smaller conventions would have made the same amount of money without the radically increased security hassles. Restaurants would likely be just as busy in that scenario.  What the final government price tag for this week will be may never be discovered. However, things seem to be running mostly smoothly for this week's Democrat infomercial/party, and Denver is receiving good press because of it.

by Civil Sense

One of These Names Does Not Belong

Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper seems like a nice guy, but he seems fundamentally unserious. Case in point is John Hickenlooper’s 2008 Rocky Mountain Roundtable during the Democratic National Convention. The Denver Post reports:

 

"We have set the table for a banquet that the whole country is going to enjoy," Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper said Thursday afternoon, as he another city and DNC Host Committee officials announced a slate of events, including the women's symposium, a film festival and art installations, the Green Frontier Fest, a huge exhibition of presidential artifacts and the 2008 Rocky Mountain Roundtable.

 

These events, Hickenlooper said, present the opportunity for Coloradans to "take a seat at the table in a moment in history and consider what does Democracy mean to me, to our community, to the country."

 

Many of the panels sound interesting. Boulder County Liberal Mark Udall can go to the “Unconventional Women” panel to ask Nancy Pelosi why she threw him under the bus. Quite a few famous liberal politicians and media personalities will speak at the events. But, this event perhaps has the most bizarre pairing of minds ever:

 

The roundtable, set for Aug. 25-27 will for the first time bring together former U.S. Secretary of State Madeleine Albright and acclaimed actor Ben Affleck to discuss international relations.

 

It is no wonder that this is the first appearance ever of this panel. Madeleine Albright has the credentials to discuss this subject due to her tenure as Secretary of State and at the United Nations. Ben Affleck received his foreign policy credentials from his experience filming Pearl Harbor. There is no word if Ben Affleck joining the religious roundtable based upon his role as a fallen angel in Dogma.

 

The inclusion of Ben Affleck in a “serious” international relations panel just shows that these roundtables will be another unserious event in the circus of the Democratic National Convention.

 

by Civil Sense